Love!!

Why, thankyou!

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"A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother."

Very nice...I totally get what you're talking about!

I really hoped people would. its something everyone should experience. Thanks for the comment, dahling!

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"A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother."

ten points for the use of paroxysm.

*goes to look it up*

Ten points! Wow!

par·ox·ysm

1) A sudden outburst of emotion or action: a paroxysm of laughter.

2)

a)A sudden attack, recurrence, or intensification of a disease.
b) A spasm or fit; a convulsion.

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"A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother."

I like this. I enjoyed you use of "glow", following the repetition of "slowly". It seemed like "grow" should fit there, and " glow" is close enough to suggest it but also makes a nice transition into the next part of the poem. This piece has good vocabulary, the words are used because they fit and not just because they're cool words. "inert affectations" - loved that part. The imagery in the last stanza, foreshadowed by the title, is strong enough to carry the poem.

I think "Feel them in your chest, They tear your clothes" could be condensed (or added to) to be the same saturation as the rest of the work. Sometimes lines like these can help give the reader a break, because it's easy reading, but I don't think it's necessary here. You shouldn't sacrifice the meaning of these lines, just improve on them. That's just a suggestion, take it with a grain of salt, but I know I always like to get some constructive feedback. Good poem.

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Aw, thankyou very much! Its nice to know what people like. Much appreciated!

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"A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother."

oooh great poem, but i dont feel it....i dont feel the ripples in your chest. sorry